A forever family for Israel

On July 15th, my brother in law and sister, Neil and Jill Young, got news that their referral for a 4 year old little boy in an orphanage in Ethiopia had been accepted. Little Israel was declared their son through a simple phone call. In an instant, our family has grown and will include another precious child- a new brother, cousin, nephew. What a miraculous gift from our Creator God. We are beyond thrilled and now will pray fervently for him as he is far away from his new home and probably won't be able to join his forever family for several more months.

Please pray:
-For his safety (emotional, physical, spiritual) as he waits to join his forever family
-For his heart to be prepared for his new family
-For his biological father who let him go (his mother passed away)
-For his emotional healing
-For Judah as he accepts a new brother
-For Jill and Neil as they must endure more waiting
-For safety in traveling to Ethiopia twice to finalize the adoption and bring Israel home

Thank you to each and every person who has said a prayer, sent an encouraging e-mail or made an encouraging phone call, or contributed financially- You made this possible and the Youngs are so very grateful!

Prayers for my kids

I wrote a letter to Evangeline that I shared when we dedicated her at church when she was about 9 months old. I recently wrote a letter to Samuel as well, although we still haven't publicly dedicated him. We plan to do that at the next opportunity. I thought I would share these prayers here. This is our heart for our kids, and we are not ashamed to say it to anyone who will listen.

To Our Precious Evangeline Joy,

It is hard to even begin to express the love that we feel for you. We are so grateful to God for you- our most treasured gift from the Lord. We are in awe of His goodness towards us- He entrusted us to be your mama and daddy. We don’t deserve you, pumpkin! Our God is so gracious. It’s impossible to comprehend that God has blessed us with such a perfect little girl. For the first 5 or 6 weeks of your life, every time we looked at you we cried.

Everything about your life is precious. You were prayed into the world by many people of God before you were conceived, Angel! We have watched God orchestrate each and every moment to His glory. We praise the Lord because He revealed Himself to so many people through the miracle of your life. There were many moments before you came to be that we struggled with doubt- wondering if we would ever have the blessing of a baby and crying out to God to help us understand the pain and loss we had faced. When we got the news that you would be coming we cried out to the Lord to guard and protect you. We knew that there was nothing we could do in ourselves to keep you safe. He was so gracious to honor our request and blessed us with the gift of you! It’s easier to see His purposes now: YOU are the baby God had for us! Without the previous struggle and loss, you would not be here!

Our hearts desire to honor you and your life by honoring God, who gave you to us. We pray over you every single day that God would fulfill all of His purposes for your life. We pray also that you would be obedient to the call that God placed over you even before you were conceived. Angel baby, our God knew you then and he knit you together just as you are! We pray that God would grow in you the knowledge of Him and His Word that you may do great things for His Kingdom. When you were in my womb I dreamt that you would be a witness for the Lord and that your faith would far exceed that of ours. After that dream I began to pray that God would give you a double, triple portion of faith! Your name is a reflection of that dream- Evangeline, the bearer of Good News! We believe and stand in faith that not only will God draw you to Himself and you will accept Him as your Lord and Savior, but that you will also evangelize many with the Hope and Joy that we have in Jesus.

As your daddy and mommy, we commit today to make our marriage a priority. We desire to be an example to you of love, respect, and honor towards another. We further commit to be an example of daily quiet time with the Lord. We know that our words and actions are a direct reflection of our relationship with Christ, so we promise today to make Him the 1^st priority in our home. We are not, and will never be, perfect, but we will continually ask God to grant us great favor in raising you to be the woman He desires. We ask Him also to give us wisdom to help guide and direct your steps so that they align with His Word.

As we dedicate you to Jesus, there is great joy and a little pang in our hearts. We acknowledge today that you are not ours and we surrender you to the Lord. We plead with Him to guard you and protect you, to command His angels concerning you! Mostly, we pray that He would glorify Himself through your precious life.

Today, we praise God for what we can already see is a sensitive spirit and loving heart in you. We are so thankful that he has allowed us to nurture and love you. We wait in great anticipation knowing that God loves you desperately, even more than we, and will do great things in your life. Our lives’ greatest joy is being your daddy and mommy.

We love you, Precious Evangeline.

Daddy & Mommy

Dear Samuel Elias,

What a treasure you are! Every night as we stand at your crib and look down at you, we are reminded of God’s faithfulness to us in entrusting you to our care. We are so blessed to be your daddy and mama. We know that we do not “deserve” you or your sister- there is nothing so wonderful that we have done that God gave you to us. Instead, in His infinite mercy and grace, He has allowed us to have you for a short time to raise and nurture and teach. We promise to do that to the absolute best of our ability, knowing that we must rely on the Lord to help us and give us wisdom every step of the way.

When we found out that you were coming, we immediately began to pray for your life.  We asked God to protect you in my womb and that you would grow and develop exactly the way that God designed. Again, as He has been so many times, He was gracious and honored our request and you arrived on January 16^th, 2010. When we found out you were a boy, we were absolutely delighted! We prayed fervently for another baby before you were conceived and believed God to work a miracle to bring you into the world. This is why we named you Samuel, which means “asked of God”. We chose Elias as your middle name (“the Lord is my God”) because that is our overwhelming desire for your life- that you would choose the Lord your God and serve Him with everything you are given. We pray every day that God would fulfill all of His purposes in your life and that He would help us to raise you toward that end. We are such imperfect people, though, Sam! We will fail you. We already have in some ways. We believe and trust the Lord to cover over our shortcomings so that you come to know Him and love Him in a mighty way.

We know that you are going to be a mighty warrior for the Lord. You are such a strong boy! Even now, at 6 months old, we can see this character trait developing in you and we praise the Lord for that gift. We also see that you are incredibly joyful and delight in the presence of those who love you the most. You are certainly fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator- we know that full well and pray that you do, too, as you grow and find your identity in Jesus. We ask the Lord to grow in you a desire to know Him more and more fully each day, and that, at a very young age, He would reveal Himself to you and you would accept His gift of salvation.

We plan to publicly dedicate you to the Lord at the next available opportunity, just like we did with Evangeline. As we do that, and as we did with her, we renew our commitment to make our marriage a priority. We pray that our love for one another is a reflection of the Lord’s love for you! We also commit to making time with the Lord a daily occurrence in our home through prayer, reading the Bible, and sharing our hearts regarding spiritual things. We see so clearly that our words and our actions are a direct reflection of our walk with Jesus.

Today, in our hearts and in our home, we surrender you to Jesus. It is our joy to do so, just as Hannah did with her Samuel in the Bible. However, in all truthfulness, it is difficult to hand you over to Him. Our flesh so desires to be in control even though we know that you are in capable and loving and perfect hands. Acknowledging that you are not ours, that you are His, is freeing and painful at the same time. Yet, we rejoice that the God who has overcome the world holds you close. We pray Psalm 91 over you- that God command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways, that no harm befall you, that no disaster come near your dwelling in Jesus’ name.

We love you more than you could ever know. You are a treasure, Samuel.  Our greatest joy is being parents to you and Eva. You have made our lives richer and fuller, precious boy!

Love, 

Daddy and Mama

Terrible Sleepers

My kids are terrible sleepers. It kinda feels good to see that in black and white. I'm forced to accept it- it makes it like, FACT. They wake during the night and can't get back to sleep and they wake in the morning at an ungodly hour. JUST LIKE ME. It's so strange how this all works...
I am incredibly sleep deprived and completely exhausted, yet it takes me hours to fall asleep some nights. When I am woken a few hours later by Sam's crying or Eva's "Mama!", it takes me hours to fall asleep again. How is this possible? I grow increasingly frustrated as the minutes tick tick tick by and ask myself, "Why am I not asleep?" over and over again. It makes my husband crazy. He thinks there is something wrong with me that only medication can help, and he's probably right. But, the adolescent drug and alcohol therapist in me knows that most sleep aids are addictive, and I just don't want to go down that road. I'll take my Tylenol PM on night's when I know it's going to be bad, which helps a little, and keep on moving. Truth is, it makes me crazy that my sleep issues make him crazy. HELLO! Who's the one who goes to bed an hour early and then listens to him snore the second his head hits the pillow one hour later? It makes me crazy enough some nights that I really want to kick him- HARD. He probably wouldn't wake up. It's so unfair.
I digress- back to my terrible sleepers. Some mornings I hop out of bed in a jolly mood ready to face the day. Some mornings, I fight the urge to cover my head with the pillow and ignore the crying or the "Come on, Mama!!" Of course, I always get up and attend to my kids, although not always with the best attitude. I'm irritated and annoyed that they kept me up all night and now are waking me at the crack of freakin' dawn. But then I see those faces. Those precious little bed head, blankey wrinkled faces. And, I MELT. We face the day together and make the best of whatever it brings. When all is said and done, it's almost always a good day with my munchkins.

Outer Banks, NC

We got back a couple weeks ago from our 3rd trip to the Outerbanks with the Wells' side of our family. We were there for the 4th of July for the 2nd time and had a blast! It's such fun to be together and watch the kids enjoy their cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We took lots and lots of pictures and here are a few (or quite a few) of our favorites. 

Our attempts to keep Sam cool were futile. Poor kid was just hot!

4th of July on the beach, and at a little festival in Corolla Light

Samuel and his Aunt Lauren- I love this picture of both of them so much!!

Me and my little Evangeline

Eva loved spotting the helicopters and airplanes 

Evangeline is very animated- her expressions are endless!

I am Samuel, I am strong!

Family picture on the dunes

Wells Clan

Playing on the beach

The higher, the better

Sweet Sam

Eva loves her Uncle Nathan...

Two of my favorites of Evangeline- they capture her personality perfectly...

Cancer-free!

This post will be short and sweet! Just wanted all of you to know that we got the best news and heard the sweetest words in relation to my dad's cancer- he's cancer-free! We are rejoicing and praising the Lord for His incredible goodness to our family. Evangeline and Samuel, Lord-willing, will have plenty of years of fun and love with their precious Papa, and me with my Dad. Had the outcome been any different, God would still be God, and God would still be good and faithful to us, but we are so grateful that God's answer to our prayers was a resounding, "Yes!".
Thanks for all your prayers on his behalf!

Thinking about food...

Last year, I got a little flyer on my door inviting me to become a member of a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) group. I had been wanting to do this for some time, and being pregnant, I figured there was no better time to start eating even healthier with organically grown produce straight from the farm a couple miles down the road. I've always been a relatively healthy eater, but there's always room for improvement, especially because I have an out of control sweet tooth (I could eat a whole pan of brownies by myself in one day- no problem- I am serious).
So, every Monday Memorial Day through Thanksgiving, we made a little trip to the farm to collect and pick our share of the harvest. It was so much fun and we decided to do it again this year.  So far, we have gotten a lot of leafy greens (red leaf lettuce, kale, spinach, cabbage, mesculin, etc.), broccoli, turnips, beets, herbs, peas, fava beans, & sugar snap peas.  I have to look up recipes to use the things that I haven't had before (like Chinese Cabbage, which I got this week). Recently, I made kale chips- you crisp it up in the oven with a little olive oil and salt. Evangeline ate them right up!
I've also been trying to come up with some healthy "treats" for Eva. She has learned that when she eats a good meal, I often offer her a treat. I knew I needed to come up with something fast so she didn't expect cookies and ice cream everyday. So far we have done popsicles of all kinds with fruit and veggies thrown in the blender and put into popsicle molds, as well as whole milk plain yogurt blended with melted chocolate chips (a healthy "fudgesicle"), and frozen dark chocolate covered bananas. Do any of you have other brilliant ideas for fun and healthy treats?!?! I'd love to hear them!
Finally, now that Samuel is 5 months, it's time to start making baby food again. With all the organic vegetables we are getting at the farm, he'll be getting the healthiest and best tasting food possible. What a lucky boy! I've already done peas and carrots, and next week I'll pick green beans at the farm and give him those to try.  I remember looking at all my colorful baby food jars all lined up in the freezer for Eva and what a sense of accomplishment it was- I'm looking forward to that again, although it will be more difficult to muster up the energy this time around. I'm feeling pretty exhausted these days. More on that sometime soon...

Acknowledging those without...

The last 3 weekends in a row Mike and I have traveled to Paoli Hospital to welcome new little ones into the world. We sat with each and soaked in their perfect little ears and toes and noses. We ooed and ahhed at their angelic whimpers and gurgles. We were reminded of the days of Evangeline and Samuel's births- by far the most incredible days of our lives- no days hold a candle to them.
Welcome to the world:
Nolan Gregory to Greg and Carla Lusby
Liam Joseph to Kevin and Dawn Aikens
Nora Faith to Bryan and Sara Wise
We are so happy for you guys!
The joy of new life is indescribable, and each set of the parents we visited reveled in this joy- their giddiness was oozing out of their every pore.  As we left each of these growing families, praying for their adjustment to life with a new baby, there was a lingering feeling that I didn't want to pay attention to, but it just wouldn't leave me. Despite my happiness, I couldn't shake a feeling of desperation. Sounds funny, but I felt such pain and empathy for those who desire to have this same day (the day their child is born), but for one reason or another, thus far, it hasn't come. I truly believe that outside of the death of one dear to us, their is no greater pain than a Godly longing that is unfulfilled. A longing for a spouse, or for a child to be born, a child to be healed, or for a loving parent...
On Friday I sat in a room FULL of babies and despite how much I loved looking at each of them and delighted in their presence, I could think of little besides those WITHOUT babies who want them so desperately. And it made me feel desperate. Desperate to help, desperate to have words that would bring healing, desperate to somehow make sense of it. It's not just my own experience with infertility that makes me simply unable (for now) to feel just the joy and leave the desperation behind. Yes, there was a time when I thought the pain of longing for a child, getting close, and then losing them would probably kill me. But, God has brought forth great healing through the births of Evangeline and Samuel and the grief for the babies I have lost does not leave me in a heap on the floor any longer.
There are so many people in my midst with Godly longings that are currently unfulfilled and when I am with them, their pain is palpable. Some desire a husband or wife, some desire children, some desire sick children to be well, some desire a loving parent. I generally say the same thing to all of them because I know that it was true for me, and firmly believe that it WILL be true for them. That is, "someday this will all make sense. Someday, you'll look into the eyes of your spouse and think, 'had God NOT made me wait, or taken me through this or that, I wouldn't have you, and I know now that YOU are the one God had for me'. Someday, you'll look at your sleeping baby and think, 'without the previous struggle or loss, I wouldn't have YOU. It makes sense now, because YOU are the child God had for me'. Maybe it won't happen until you get to heaven and see Christ face to face, but it WILL happen." It's simple. It's true. God's faithfulness is enduring, and will carry us through every conceivable pain and heartache. But, it's the enduring that's hard because the process is so often slow.
Jill and Neil (my sister and brother in law) have been waiting for years to add a child to their family. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. During this time, they have seen AT LEAST 50 babies come into the world to their families and friends.  Talk about desperation...  I know, though, that when God finally turns the heart of a birthmother towards them and they are chosen as adoptive parents, they will undoubtedly understand the wait as they look at that baby. They will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had THAT baby for them. No other baby would do.
I write this entry today not to make anyone feel bad or guilty or to take away any joy from those getting married or having babies. Revel in the joy of it!! If this post brings more awareness and a sensitivity in spirit, Praise the Lord. But truly, I write this today for those who aren't getting married or having babies. You are not alone; you are not crazy; YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. A longing unfulfilled brings unmeasurable pain. But wait!!!  John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Yes, the God who overcame the world Has a sovereign plan and JOY WILL COME! Hold on. Wait and see.