Outer Banks, NC

We got back a couple weeks ago from our 3rd trip to the Outerbanks with the Wells' side of our family. We were there for the 4th of July for the 2nd time and had a blast! It's such fun to be together and watch the kids enjoy their cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We took lots and lots of pictures and here are a few (or quite a few) of our favorites. 

Our attempts to keep Sam cool were futile. Poor kid was just hot!

4th of July on the beach, and at a little festival in Corolla Light

Samuel and his Aunt Lauren- I love this picture of both of them so much!!

Me and my little Evangeline

Eva loved spotting the helicopters and airplanes 

Evangeline is very animated- her expressions are endless!

I am Samuel, I am strong!

Family picture on the dunes

Wells Clan

Playing on the beach

The higher, the better

Sweet Sam

Eva loves her Uncle Nathan...

Two of my favorites of Evangeline- they capture her personality perfectly...

Cancer-free!

This post will be short and sweet! Just wanted all of you to know that we got the best news and heard the sweetest words in relation to my dad's cancer- he's cancer-free! We are rejoicing and praising the Lord for His incredible goodness to our family. Evangeline and Samuel, Lord-willing, will have plenty of years of fun and love with their precious Papa, and me with my Dad. Had the outcome been any different, God would still be God, and God would still be good and faithful to us, but we are so grateful that God's answer to our prayers was a resounding, "Yes!".
Thanks for all your prayers on his behalf!

Thinking about food...

Last year, I got a little flyer on my door inviting me to become a member of a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) group. I had been wanting to do this for some time, and being pregnant, I figured there was no better time to start eating even healthier with organically grown produce straight from the farm a couple miles down the road. I've always been a relatively healthy eater, but there's always room for improvement, especially because I have an out of control sweet tooth (I could eat a whole pan of brownies by myself in one day- no problem- I am serious).
So, every Monday Memorial Day through Thanksgiving, we made a little trip to the farm to collect and pick our share of the harvest. It was so much fun and we decided to do it again this year.  So far, we have gotten a lot of leafy greens (red leaf lettuce, kale, spinach, cabbage, mesculin, etc.), broccoli, turnips, beets, herbs, peas, fava beans, & sugar snap peas.  I have to look up recipes to use the things that I haven't had before (like Chinese Cabbage, which I got this week). Recently, I made kale chips- you crisp it up in the oven with a little olive oil and salt. Evangeline ate them right up!
I've also been trying to come up with some healthy "treats" for Eva. She has learned that when she eats a good meal, I often offer her a treat. I knew I needed to come up with something fast so she didn't expect cookies and ice cream everyday. So far we have done popsicles of all kinds with fruit and veggies thrown in the blender and put into popsicle molds, as well as whole milk plain yogurt blended with melted chocolate chips (a healthy "fudgesicle"), and frozen dark chocolate covered bananas. Do any of you have other brilliant ideas for fun and healthy treats?!?! I'd love to hear them!
Finally, now that Samuel is 5 months, it's time to start making baby food again. With all the organic vegetables we are getting at the farm, he'll be getting the healthiest and best tasting food possible. What a lucky boy! I've already done peas and carrots, and next week I'll pick green beans at the farm and give him those to try.  I remember looking at all my colorful baby food jars all lined up in the freezer for Eva and what a sense of accomplishment it was- I'm looking forward to that again, although it will be more difficult to muster up the energy this time around. I'm feeling pretty exhausted these days. More on that sometime soon...

Acknowledging those without...

The last 3 weekends in a row Mike and I have traveled to Paoli Hospital to welcome new little ones into the world. We sat with each and soaked in their perfect little ears and toes and noses. We ooed and ahhed at their angelic whimpers and gurgles. We were reminded of the days of Evangeline and Samuel's births- by far the most incredible days of our lives- no days hold a candle to them.
Welcome to the world:
Nolan Gregory to Greg and Carla Lusby
Liam Joseph to Kevin and Dawn Aikens
Nora Faith to Bryan and Sara Wise
We are so happy for you guys!
The joy of new life is indescribable, and each set of the parents we visited reveled in this joy- their giddiness was oozing out of their every pore.  As we left each of these growing families, praying for their adjustment to life with a new baby, there was a lingering feeling that I didn't want to pay attention to, but it just wouldn't leave me. Despite my happiness, I couldn't shake a feeling of desperation. Sounds funny, but I felt such pain and empathy for those who desire to have this same day (the day their child is born), but for one reason or another, thus far, it hasn't come. I truly believe that outside of the death of one dear to us, their is no greater pain than a Godly longing that is unfulfilled. A longing for a spouse, or for a child to be born, a child to be healed, or for a loving parent...
On Friday I sat in a room FULL of babies and despite how much I loved looking at each of them and delighted in their presence, I could think of little besides those WITHOUT babies who want them so desperately. And it made me feel desperate. Desperate to help, desperate to have words that would bring healing, desperate to somehow make sense of it. It's not just my own experience with infertility that makes me simply unable (for now) to feel just the joy and leave the desperation behind. Yes, there was a time when I thought the pain of longing for a child, getting close, and then losing them would probably kill me. But, God has brought forth great healing through the births of Evangeline and Samuel and the grief for the babies I have lost does not leave me in a heap on the floor any longer.
There are so many people in my midst with Godly longings that are currently unfulfilled and when I am with them, their pain is palpable. Some desire a husband or wife, some desire children, some desire sick children to be well, some desire a loving parent. I generally say the same thing to all of them because I know that it was true for me, and firmly believe that it WILL be true for them. That is, "someday this will all make sense. Someday, you'll look into the eyes of your spouse and think, 'had God NOT made me wait, or taken me through this or that, I wouldn't have you, and I know now that YOU are the one God had for me'. Someday, you'll look at your sleeping baby and think, 'without the previous struggle or loss, I wouldn't have YOU. It makes sense now, because YOU are the child God had for me'. Maybe it won't happen until you get to heaven and see Christ face to face, but it WILL happen." It's simple. It's true. God's faithfulness is enduring, and will carry us through every conceivable pain and heartache. But, it's the enduring that's hard because the process is so often slow.
Jill and Neil (my sister and brother in law) have been waiting for years to add a child to their family. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. During this time, they have seen AT LEAST 50 babies come into the world to their families and friends.  Talk about desperation...  I know, though, that when God finally turns the heart of a birthmother towards them and they are chosen as adoptive parents, they will undoubtedly understand the wait as they look at that baby. They will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had THAT baby for them. No other baby would do.
I write this entry today not to make anyone feel bad or guilty or to take away any joy from those getting married or having babies. Revel in the joy of it!! If this post brings more awareness and a sensitivity in spirit, Praise the Lord. But truly, I write this today for those who aren't getting married or having babies. You are not alone; you are not crazy; YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. A longing unfulfilled brings unmeasurable pain. But wait!!!  John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Yes, the God who overcame the world Has a sovereign plan and JOY WILL COME! Hold on. Wait and see.

Thanks to their Aunt Jill and their doting daddy...

My kids have awesome rooms!

Mike did all the carpentry, and Aunt Jill (my sister) did the murals. Aren't they amazingly talented?? 

All I did was accessorize.

Eva in her room- right before her first birthday

Samuel's room

We moved the crib and changing table to his room, and now Eva has a big girl bed and a new glider.

Mike even did the wallpaper :)

Best Husband Ever (pics of new basement)

Last October Mike began our basement finishing project.  He worked tirelessly on weekends and during the evenings to provide this new living space for our family for about 3 months. I can hardly even begin to describe how happy I was when it was over for one reason- I HAD MY HUSBAND BACK!!  I had a little taste of what it might be like to be a single parent those few months, and I didn't like it one bit!! But my man got the job done- almost all by himself. Thanks to my mom who helped with painting, my dad who helped with painting and drywall, mike's dad who helped with drywall, and our brother in law's neil and bryan for help with painting. Seriously though, he did literally everything else himself and alone. He's absolutely amazing, and the finished project (pics below) is almost as amazing as he is :)

BEFORE

EGRESS WINDOW INSTALLED

FRAMING AND STUDS

DRYWALL, PAINT, CARPET, TRIMWORK (and Eva)

AFTER: 

DREAM PLAY, LOUNGE, WORKOUT SPACE FOR OUR GROWING FAMILY

              FULL BATH

I'm Believing God

Several years ago I did a Beth Moore study entitled, "Believing God". It changed my life- really changed my thinking.  Her overall challenge was to forget about believing IN God, and focus on believing God:
That He is who He says He is.
That He can do what He says He can do.
That I am who God says I am.
That I can do all things through Christ.
That God's Word is alive and active in me.

In other words, the study began a process in me of taking God at His Word. As if He wanted to really cement the concept in me, God began to take me through various struggles so that I could prove that I really meant it- "God, I believe you!!"
The most recent came a few Tuesdays ago when I got a phone call. One of the scariest phone calls that I have had in my whole life, and I hope that they don't get any scarier in the future. Bottom line: my dad has prostate cancer. The word that strikes fear in people instantaneously now applied to my very own dad. Of course, my human mind went right to all the what ifs, and then all the things that I learned in that study 3 years ago came flooding back, including my "Five Statement Pledge of Faith" (posted above). And I just said, out loud, to God, "I believe that You are who You say You are- the Great Physician. That You can do what You say You can do- Heal the sick. That I am who you say I am- loved, whole, chosen, redeemed. That I can do all things through Christ- even endure this trial. That Your Word is alive and active in me- the God who created the heavens and the earth hears and answers my prayers. I'm choosing today to believe You, Lord."
My dad does have cancer. There are a lot of unanswered questions. The cancer is in its early stages and there is great hope that He will be fine. My heart is at peace despite a great amount of uncertainty. I am praying that my dad has many wonderful years ahead of Him and that Evangeline and Samuel will have many more wonderful memories of their Papa- that they will know him and love him the way that I do. It is a privilege to be the daughter of such an amazing man. My dad rules! He is the best man I have ever known. No matter what happens next- God be glorified! I will trust Him because I believe Him.

My Dad & Evangeline on Easter

My Dad & Samuel on Easter

My Dad & Eva- Christmastime 2008