Saturday, March 6, 2010

Adoption Update from the Youngs

Here is a letter my sister wrote today describing where things stand with their adoption. Please pray!!

Dear Friends,

We humbly come to you with grateful hearts for all that God's provided for us and through you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

We have felt your prayers and been blessed by financial contributions. Throughout October, November, and December, over $4,000 was raised to offset the expense of our adoption. Thank you to our siblings who put together the auctions and garage sales that raised the money. There were also individuals who blessed us with contributions. We have been blown away by the outpouring of support.

Our intention all along has been to send thanks for all that our friends, family, and friends OF friends and family have done to support us both financially and in prayer, and then to send updates on our process along the way...

The process hasn't gone quite like we had initially envisioned. Everything has taken longer than we hoped: 
Deciding where to seek an adoption (international or domestic)
Finding the right agency
the paper work, the home study, the clearances
Creating our profile (the book and letter that introduces us to the prospective birth mother of our child(ren))
...and now mostly just the wait!

It was such a relief to have our part over and be officially waiting. That relief only lasted for about a month. Then the time came nearer to when we pictured the three of us being 4. Through the holiday season we sort of grieved the loss of our expectations. All my ideas for our annual Christmas card included more than the 3 of us and we never even brought ourselves to creating one this year.

Through each step of this process, though, we have heard His familiar whisper - that He "...will meet all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19 ...that no matter how long the wait, no matter how deep the longing, now matter what, He has us in His grip. His plans for us are to prosper us. Prosper, in our minds, is to be in His perfect plan.

This week has been one of ups and downs. Beginning on Tuesday, we got an email from the director of our placing agency asking us to pray about 2 birth mother situations. Both of the pregnant women who could be potential matches for us are due to deliver babies who could have severe non-correctable birth defects. Our hearts both just sank into our stomachs. On our paperwork we had checked that we would consider a situation like this and that we would want to be made aware of them and possibly have our profile shown. When that reality was before us, we had unexpected emotions. "Why Lord?" "Is this what we've been waiting for?" "It's not fair." "We can't handle this." "How horrible are we that we would not jump at the chance to parent ANY child?" " Maybe we could do it, maybe this is just something we need to trust him for and we can handle more than we think." "Maybe the baby would end up being fine." 
...guilt, disappointment, fear, sadness, and even some hope. So many questions and thoughts and feelings just bombarded our hearts and minds. We did not reply that night. Wednesday we talked to Dierdre (the director) on the phone to get more information. We learned that not only do they not have much information at this point, but that nothing is even a confirmed diagnosis yet. And it might be awhile until they know anything. One baby will have to be born before before they will know much.

Dierdre then moved on from these 2 circumstances to let us know of an upcoming meeting where our profile will be shown to a woman expecting a baby on March 25th! She really desires to place with a family who is out of state, and we are the only waiting family that is out of state. That meeting is next Thursday, the 11th. The birth mother's name is Candace. She will see several profiles and most likely be making a choice right away since her due date is only 3 weeks away.

Another potential match for us is a 2 1/2 year old boy named David and a 1 year old girl named Anna, siblings, who are in the process of  being placed. We were made aware of them when their mother first came to Deaconess to begin counseling and planning for placing her 2 children. Her name is Brianna and she is working full time while going to school full time. We do not have details about why she's arrived at this decision. God immediately began speaking to our hearts about these children when we first learned about them a couple weeks ago. We've now learned that they are working through the parental right termination and relinquishment. We don't know how long this might take. We've been told that it can be a complicated process and there are certain "waiting periods" between some of the documents.

We want to give these children a home. Our prayer and hope is that they are ours. We do not want to have our hopes up, but it is too late. 

So now we are praying specifically for this situation, for these children. 

...that the legal process will move faster than they project that it will. 
...that God will intervene and divinely make things happen to bring these children home SOON! 
...that He will protect them in the mean time.
...that He his grace will cover over all the pain and longing that they will likely experience soon.

We know that we may not be the family God has in mind for these kids. Even if we are not, we are praying that things would move along quickly to get these children into the stable environment that they need, and into the arms of their new mommy and daddy. Our hearts are broken for their loss, but excited for their future.

We have been surprised by our own desire for these children. We did not set out on this journey to adopt an older child. We felt led to adopt an infant, bonding with him from the beginning. But, as we have learned, God changes hearts. We can't help but to imagine ourselves bringing these kids home to be part of our family. We do not know how probable it is that they will be ours, but we know that God is at work.

Please pray with us as we seek Him for his perfect will for our family. Any 4 of these circumstances could hold the child(ren) that is ours. Or it may be one not even mentioned here. We trust Him implicitly. 

We also believe in prayer. We know that we are so loved and that so many have held us in prayer over the growing of our family. That is why we wanted to include you in the details of these circumstances. It's so powerful to be able to pray specifically. As you pray for these children and circumstances, please also pray for us. We are in a very fragile place of trying desperately to not get our hopes up, but also wanting to have hope! Pray that if we do get to be the family to these children who are siblings that God would give us strength to meet the special needs this situation will bring.

We will keep you posted as the circumstances develop.

Trusting in Him,
Neil and Jill Young

Please feel free to share with anyone who is interested in partnering in prayer with us.

1 comment:

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Joining you in prayer Mike, Lauren, Neil and Jill!

God will provide!

He will be faithful to bring the right children into your home forever!

Blessings and grace,


We're the Wells family. We currently consist of Michael (husband and daddy), Lauren (wife and mama), Evangeline (daughter and princess), and Samuel (son and prince). We live a pretty simple life loving the many blessings that God grants us each and every day.
Mike is a genius carpenter/contractor and works throughout neighboring counties. Lauren stays at home with Eva and Sam most of the time, but works a few days a week as a therapist.
More than anything else, we love being together as a family- trips to the gardens, swimming at Grammie and Papa's house, and bike rides & walks are probably our most frequent activities. We're surrounded by our family (siblings and parents); they all live within 30 minutes of us!
That's us in a nut shell.
We're thankful you dropped by our site!